When Faced with Overwhelming Change
An acquaintance of mine recently lost her boyfriend. Not only did he die, he died next to her in bed; and when I sit with her, she recounts the story of the sounds he made during his final minutes. Her life was forever changed, in the blink of an eye. She keeps telling me (and everyone who listens), “I’m doing the best I can.” And she is.
So many people I know are facing similar upheavals in life: divorce, death, job loss…children leaving home. How can we make the best of these challenging times?
The Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron writes: “We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us.”
Choose to let these experiences soften you, so that you emerge a more compassionate, open, and loving person. Remember… Life doesn’t happen TO you, it happens FOR you.
Here are some ways to turn losses into openings in your life:
1. Hold the perspective that everything is happening for your greater good. Remove the label “bad” from whatever is happening, and look for the gift or blessing within.
2. Remember that you’re not alone-get support from those around you. When I sit with my friend every Friday during her lunch hour, she knows that she’s safe…and can say or do anything she needs to do. That’s the kind of friend you need during dark times.
3. Take time to feel any fear or sadness. Don’t be afraid they’ll overwhelm you. Feel them fully and have a good cry, if needed. Then take a deep breath and go out and do something you love to do.
4. Think “soften.” That little reminder can help.
