Kelly Judkins, author of the article, Musings on the Life of a Funeral Director, shares her personal story with AWFP site visitors. Kelly is a licensed funeral director in New Zealand, and currently working at Hardings Funeral Services, in Hawera, Taranaki. Here she eloquently speaks of just how deeply her commitment to the profession runs – and I found it to echo the feelings of many of our members who have left other careers to enter mortuary college, or return to working in a funeral home. As Kelly says…
“You can take the girl out of funeral service, but I guess you can’t take funeral service out of the girl…
I have been reading Funeralcare. An old issue actually, one dated July 2007 and in it is a series of articles on the age old issue of staff retention. Flicking back through more magazines and not only the issue of staff retention but the old work life balance crops up with amazing monotony. I came back into the industry in April this year—the first of April actually… When asked to write an article for this issue of Funeralcare the challenge was to tell readers what the reasoning was behind leaving—but also and more importantly why the return to funeral service.
Roughly two years ago I made a decision to leave the industry to spend more time with my family. The decision to leave was difficult. I had spent the previous 10 years learning my trade by working with some of the best people in the industry, and had become a trusted professional in my community. As I look back to that time, the signs were all there leading to being burnt out and bloody tired.
Life is busy. We know that and it takes effort to keep all our balls in the air, so to speak. By this I mean work, family, personal growth, any hobbies and so on. I began to remove myself from all that grief entailed, for me personally to keep all balls juggling and in the air, I needed to put one down and leave it a while.
Of all the careers available, I joined real estate. Everyone in New Zealand knew the housing market had become a difficult environment and the real estate industry was now seeing a huge loss in faith, revenue, and agents. In reply to this market downfall, managers and agents were encouraged to invest in training and while it became apparent this was not a career for the faint hearted I was lucky enough to be in an environment that made sure that training and support were available. The team I joined were a professional team of salespeople focused on delivering results for their clients and dominating their market. They ranked within the top 10 branches of Harcourt’s in New Zealand for achievement in both sales and professionalism. Perseverance pays off, I had achieved awards for Rookie of the month for a couple of months and ranked 13th and 15th in the Wellington region. The hours however, were interestingly similar to that of funeral service and where we might get called out during the ‘wee’ hours, open homes will take every Sunday you are prepared to do them! Calls happened anytime of the day—including weekends, and if you wanted to be paid then there was your incentive to go to that house viewing and while there was every chance you would sell it—there were as many chances you may not also.
Similarities kept coming thick and fast, and to be honest my manager did tell me (and more than several times over) that if I could leave funeral service behind that success would be mine as a sales person. To be fair I wasn’t even aware that the comparisons were being made half the time…
So why make the decision to return to funeral service? The time away had given me objectivity and a chance to work on some much needed attention on myself, and that is something that continues today.
To excel in any chosen field, a healthy mindset is imperative. This career choice can be all consuming. To be healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually what ever our methods and beliefs may be, is absolutely essential for doing well in ourselves. To also recognize any weaknesses or shortfalls and be strong enough to accept those and keep them on a short leash is just as important.
Being outside funeral service for a while has reminded me there is a big world out there and the part we play while small in proportion to the quantity, it is extremely important to ensure what we do is quality to create those memories that give a healthy platform to the grieving process.
I quote from a Funeralcare article (June 2007), “in this country we pride ourselves on the service we give to the families we serve, and in return our communities somewhat perversely create us into paragons of society, the pillars of strength that they turn to when adversity plays it’s best hand”
Hmmm, the article could be construed as an extremely negative article. I can say that, it was my article, and re-reading it, yes a lot of what I had said still stands true today, however as my esteemed colleague mentions in his article (June 2007) “Sometimes, we would like to be somewhere else, but we put on a brave face and carry on because this is the life each of us has chosen—to have the privilege of being involved in this aspect of humanity.”
Yes, I have come back, and have chosen this life. Maybe I have found my niche, whatever the case, I am back, healthy and balanced and yes all the balls are in the air, I can see the caskets for the funeral, the wood for the trees, and my work and life is balanced! As one funeral goer said recently to me, ‘Kelly, it’s good to have you home.’”
About Kelly
She is a qualified embalmer with Hardings Funeral Services, in Hawera, Taranaki, New Zealand. She qualified in 1995, and shares that, “in New Zealand embalming and funeral service are 2 separate qualifications until you achieve both to become a diploma. I am an embalmer and belong to the New Zealand Embalmers Association or NZEA. I have served as national secretary for NZEA and also as chair on the editorial board for our industry mag Funeralcare.” To learn more about funeral service there, visit the New Zealand Funeral Directors Association website.
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